Hey, I did better, it has only been 2-1/2 weeks instead of nearly 6 this time. I know you missed me. Oh yeah.
I recorded the Royal wedding and have yet to watch the whole thing, I watched all the pre-wedding bullshit up until Kate got to the actual alter and stopped it, heh. I must admit, I was hesitant taping the CNN coverage, but boy oh boy was that the best decision EVER! It was Anderson Cooper (whom I love, I could care less if he may be a closeted gay, go on with you cute ass Anderson!), Cat Deeley (the only skinny bitch I love, I also love SYTYCD), and good ol' Piers Morgan (again love this guy), so anyway, they were the hosts for this. I knew about 40 minutes in it was the perfect choice for me and oh, I will tell you why.
So apparently there is this socialite from the UK, her name is Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, she is 39, and is kind of like a mash up of our Paris Hilton and Ryan Seacrest. I say these two because she is a reality TV whore and host, and she is a socialite, with a bit less money. Well apparently she had a severe cocaine problem. So bad that her nose COLLAPSED, it was called a Septum Nasi collapse, basically, she snorted so much fucking coke, that it ate away her fucking inner nose. Good job chicka. Then she had surgery to fix it, well, it didn't really go to fucking well, it looks pretty fucked up.
Before we get to far ahead, lets take a gander at her before her schnoz sank:
She was pretty, right? On the cute side, in fact looks like a cuter less plastic Melissa Rivers!
Well,below is the pictorial timeline, starting with her sniffer after it snuffed itself. Then after surgery.
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| Snuffed Sniffer |
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| After New Nose |
Now that we all know about Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, I am sure you are saying "What the fuck does this have to do with the Royal wedding or Piers Morgan." Well first of all keep calm and listen on.
So she was invited to the Royal wedding, I guess being a former drug addicted attention whore is Royal invite worthy.... fuck socialites, they can kiss my fat fucking ass. Ok, so she is walking into Westminster Abbey for the wedding, here she is:
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| Stupid Fucking Hat |
Okay, another thing I will admit before we move on, I fucking LOVE the insane bat-shit crazy hats that these women wore, some were actually really awesome and made me want to wear one everyday, but some were down right fugalicious. (in case you dont know what that is Educate Yourself), so she comes waltzing up the walkway with some other chick dressed in pretty much the same dress in purple with purple fur at the top. Then OMG the fucking awesomeness that is Piers Morgan commences! First off when he realized who it was he said and I quote:
"Tara Palmer-Thomkinson you're seeing there, she had a operation on her nose last week, because it had been completely desecrated by drug use."
Then he went on to say she had a massive cocaine problem, that it ruined her nose. Cat Deeley said well, if the nose surgery had not gone well, she could just pull the hat down over her nose. *sigh* I love them now. The entire footage of people entering the Abbey, was totally delicious with gossip and hilarity (at least to me!). So yeah. Piers (yes we are on a first name basis now), did say that Tara was a very nice person, but did use drugs A LOT in her past. So she is a likable former coke sniffing socialite. Good for her.
Oh and another thing on the Royal Wedding Guests. I have never really been a big fan of David Beckham I never liked his gruffy just off the soccer field look he seems to sport EVERYWHERE. But fuck me if he wasn't the hottest thing in Europe that day at the wedding! Here are a few pics for you to look at.
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| Yummy! |
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| Yes David, I will go to bed with you! |
Oh yeah, give me a man in a morning suit anytime! Wowsa! He literally made me go "mmmm" when I seen him! Forget a poster of him with nothing on, I want a poster of him in a tux! Someone get on that for me...
Also after 3 boys, I would like to congratulate them on finally getting their baby girl!
Ok, now all the Royal Wedding business is over with. On Swap-Bot I had a fellow member point out this article based on my Drugs, Money in Vagina's post.
Ok, so we thought the 22¢ in miss thang above's va-jay-jay was a bit much. Check this shit out. I thought I would give you a nice pictorial collage of what was found in this guys asshole....
Okay, so the *'s are because of the following:
*1, it is unknown if the matches were waterproof as shown here. Or if they were in anything to protect them...
*2, another unknown, we do not know if this is the type of flint he had up there, I kind of hope so, because the other most common flint is 2 pieces attached by a string, that one takes up a bit more anus real estate.
*3, Also unknown the type of eraser it was, but this was my interpretation, I felt the POO eraser was appropriate here.
*4, Yes another unknown, was the condom in a package, or was it loose? We may never know.
*5, Yet another unknown, the coupon could have been anything, but again, my interpretation, and I figured in prison, this coupon may get him out of an ass pounding, because obviously he can stuff A LOT in there.
It's like mining for fools gold huh!? To add to the crappiness of this guys ass, the dude is from Fucking FLORIDA, go figure. There are some crazy fucking people here.
To read the article yourself (and see the mug of the guy), here you go Ass Olympics.
Okay everyone, enjoy, and come back again! I might update next week! Holy SHIT!
♥Misty
