I'm a horrible blogger.

The title of this blog is pretty self explanatory! I am a horrible blogger! However, having a couple people comment, brought me back here! That means at least TWO PEOPLE read the shit I had to say! Woot!

Ok, so that's out of my system. Let's continue on with some shitty blogging.

Royal Jelly Beans

Well, if anyone here has watched the news over the past few days, the "funny" kind of story they have been talking about is the "Kate Middleton Jelly Bean," yes, you read that correctly JELLY BEAN. So these people bought some Jelly Bean Factory® jelly beans which are the UK's version of our Jelly Belly® jelly beans (give me good cheap ol' Jelly Bird Eggs® from Brach's® anyday). So what did they do? As any money seeking gremlin would do, sell it on EBAY! Yay. Guess for how much? $5, no, $20? No, wow, Misty, they want more than $20 for a jelly bean? Why yes they do, they want £500, for those of you in the US, or who are to lazy to calculate the exchange rate (just google it for fucks sake), it is $811.40 dollars in USD! Yep, EIGHT HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS for a mother fucking jelly bean. From what I am understanding about the articles, the "amazing" jelly bean sold for close to $1000 us dollars. Yep. I kind of wish I had money to toss around like that, because I would buy it, and record myself eating the fucking thing, and post it on YouTube. Fuck yeah. But, I think whoever bought it, actually did for collecting purposes. Eh, to each his (or her) own.

I must say though, the "bean" kinda does look like someone with long hair. Since Kate Middleton is the talk of the town in the UK right now I could see them thinking this. I love the quote by the guy who "found" said jelly bean. "As Jessica opened the jar, I saw her immediately. She was literally lying there staring back at me." Whatever dude, you just saw money signs, or in this case pound signs ££££!!

Another thing, I tried for nearly an hour (yes I have NO LIFE, which is all the more reason to update here) to find said jelly bean auction to no avail, so if any of you get lucky and find it, I would love to see the link to that auction.

I may also add, that the company is owned by a guy named Peter Cullen, I have to admit, for a few seconds I imagined Optimus Prime leading company meetings, and talking about sales figures in the next quarter. Wouldn't that be awesome? Optimus Prime's voice makes me wet. Yep, I said it, so fucking sue me. Oh and in case you didn't know by reading it, Optimus Prime (both cartoon and the new movies) voice is done by Peter Cullen.

Showing my love for my Boo Optimus

For your enjoyment -------------->

Here are links to various articles talking about this miraculous jelly bean.

Salon.com
Today.com
The Telegraph
and of course ABCNews Had to have their say.

 Also, I love people with awesome senses of humor, so check out these two current auctions on Ebay.

Kate Jelly Bean Painting
Kate & William Jelly Beans


Backhoe Joyride


Ok, so our next story, well, this guy is my hero, and he totally planned it! So he kept a key from an old construction job, that was a master key to large construction vehicles, like, oh, say a backhoe!?! Well, big guy gets a bit tipsy, and decided to take the backhoe from a construction area in his neighborhood for a fun loving joy ride. He took out some mailboxes, a light pole or two, a street sign (or two), and a fucking utility box!! I love this guy. To bad he got arrested, you know, because he took the joyride for one in his neighborhood, but his neighborhood was apparently upscale. So of course the cops were called, because all the snooty upscale people can't help out a neighbor with his drunkenness, assholes. 

My neighborhood isn't the worst, and isn't the best, but my neighbors are to fucking lazy to call the cops for something like this, they would curse at him, commandeer the "vehicle" drive (or walk) his drunk ass home, and put the "vehicle" back. How do I know this? Because we did that once when Mr. Drunkypants from down the street got drunk and was wreaking "havoc" with his ride on lawnmower. He "tried" to knock over a few mailboxes, but just succeeded in making little leaning mailboxes of Lakeland. We all fixed our mailboxes, one neighbor drove home the lawnmower while another neighbor walked him home. No cops, no hate, no snootiness. We all ended up getting a shit load of the best fucking homemade cookies ever from his wife the next day! Kindness goes a long way. Now this guy (from the article) will have this on his record, and most likely will not be hired for any jobs that are construction related. Good job neighbors. of course he did take out a utility box, so they may have been without power, I guess that would piss me off as well. But whatever. Shit happens.


Ok, so I think I am done now. I will try to keep up with this better. (maybe, notice I didn't make a promise)

Much Love,
           ♥Misty